Born into a peasant family on a donkey farm in Bethlehem. Little Maddy was religious from her early days and formed her first death cult by age four. Really dislikes the taste of cool-aid.
Discovered that horses are obligate nose breathers and cannot breath through their mouths. Ever the curious child she the spent the next four years with her hand stuck in mouth testing if humans were the same. Lost the tips of two fingers early on while also trying to eat a particularly hard Granny Smith apple.
Was a gifted opera singer by her teenage years. Some say her singing was so powerful it was responsible for the rise of Kim Jong-un in North Korea.
Moved to Los Angeles by the age of 17 with a traveling circus. Within a year had formed yet another death cult. Was applauded and condemned in equal measure due to several deceased clowns.
Once owned the worlds largest collection of penis shaped vegetables. Was entered into the Guinness book of records no less than eight times. Sadly the whole collection burned in a massive friction fire.
Feet are so big has been brought in on Hollywood movie sets to 'smash' when Godzilla and the Hulk were not available.
Finally settled in Burbank with her twenty five cats and wine dungeon. Works as a representative for the Italian wine mafia where her death cult skills have been put to good use taking out the competition.
Born in a black & white house in the early 40's. It would be twenty years until they could afford their first colour (even then it was mostly brown). He's frightened of the colour blue to this day.
Growing up a lonely kid he had an invisible dog. Tragedy struck when the dog was found starved to death. The dog was real but Gary is super blind and awful with animals.
He invented the worlds first automated carrot shaker. It caused seventeen earthquakes in his native Ireland, and was ultimately destroyed when an angry mob burned down his lab. This also coincided with his love of growing hallucinogenic mushrooms.
Once released a Bengal Tiger from Dublin Zoo in a protest about high ice-cream prices. Was forced to flee the country due to the resulting deaths of several beloved chimpanzees.
Ten years ago he was sent to prison by a military court for a crime he certainly did commit. He promptly escaped from a maximum-security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by Dublin Zoo, he survives as a joker of fortune. If you have a problem... if no one else can help... and if you can find him... maybe you can hire... The A-Hole.
They met on the internet on the subreddit r/BreadStapledToTrees where their passion for stapling bread to trees blossomed into love. The Californian Oak has never looked better with a slice of artisan sourdough attached. Hot!
They went to Ireland and got matching tattoos in old Irish Ogham script. The tattoos are believed to be directions to Ireland's oldest toilet.
In a happy case of happenstance Madliene and Garrett found their new shared love with cat tossing. Both are now proudly banned from the Burbank Dog & Cat park.
Editors Note: Do not leave your cat alone with these people.